Signed and confirmed :)

So this is it! Today I officially met with my surgeon and signed the consent form to go ahead with the first stage of my J pouch surgery. I'm super excited! It all seems so real now, and I really just can't wait to finish this chapter of my life and open a fresh one.

As I've known that I'm due more surgery for over a year now, at times it's felt like life's been a bit on hold. I mean, not in a really bad way. I've done some amazing things with this year - gone back to university, gone on holidays and made loads of memories - but I've always had in the back of my head that I've got the next stage to come. When I've finished all my treatment, I'll be able to look at the future with no more surgery ahead of me. It'll be a really refreshing feeling.

It's the first time I've met my surgeon as well, and he's really nice and put me at ease. I'm confident I'm in good hands for the next op!

So now we wait. I was offered a date on 12th May, but that's right over my exams and I just can't do it. So June it still is :)

6 weeks and counting! :)

6 weeks to go!

So about now, it's 6 weeks to go until my first of two surgeries to reverse my stoma and make a J-pouch. Safe to say, I'm a real mix of emotions at the moment! Some days, I'm so excited it's like I'm waiting for a hundred Christmases to come at once, other times I'm freaking out and trying to drag back the clock.

So far, I've had about 90% of my colon removed, leaving 10% left (mainly my rectum) and have an end ileostomy, which is literally the very end of my small bowel used to make a stoma.
In the next surgery, I will have the last 10% of my colon taken out, and the end of my small bowel will be folded into a pouch shape. This will then be sewn to my bum, and the surgeon will make another Stoma, a loop ileostomy, further up my bowel above the pouch to let it heal.

In the the final operation some months after, the surgeon will reverse the final Stoma, and I'll pass waste out of my bum again using the pouch.

This is a lot of big complicated stuff, and yes, there's a lot that can go wrong as well as right. A lot of people are put off from J pouch surgery because of the fear that it'll be like having UC again - they worry they'll be incontinent, going to the toilet lots of times per day or be in pain. So many stories on the Internet talk about these issues, so it's not surprising that people are scared.

However, I'm trying to look at the positives here. According to official stats, 95% of pouchers are happy with their surgery. That's a pretty good number. Pouches also improve over time, so even if your function is poor at first, there's lots of room for improvement. I'm also young, which gives my body the very best chance of recovery. I figure that because I was so ill before, and had surgery then, this surgery should technically be a lot easier to handle. I've also had a Stoma for over a year now, so emotionally, I'm ready for what having a new Stoma will feel like.

My biggest worries, though, are the fact that this operation might affect my fertility or my sexual function, and although my surgeon has said he'll try to do keyhole, there is a chance I'm going to wake up having had open surgery again. These are all risks I'm prepared to face. I trust my surgeon, and don't think he'd be offering me this option if it was unsafe. The piece of colon left inside me also needs removing, because as every year goes by, there's a chance it could become cancerous.

Some people dislike the idea of a pouch so much that they opt to have their last piece of colon totally removed, then their bum sewn up. This makes a Stoma permanent. This decision is very personal and unique to everyone, and it's a decision that needs thinking through very carefully with the help of a medical professional. However, after a year of thinking about it and weighing up all my options, a pouch is definitely the way I want to go, and my family support me in my decision.

I'm both scared and excited for what lies ahead. But I've fought on this far, and I'll keep on fighting through the next stage!

Hello Internet!

Hello! Thank you for visiting my blog :)

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Ellie, your average 20 year old currently studying at university, working hard and playing hard, living life to the full (with a bit of chilling out in between!)

In December 2013, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis after about a year of stomach cramps, bleeding with bowel movements and fatigue. Although I'd had the symptoms for a long time, I was so afraid of what was happening to my body that I simply kept it to myself and didn't say anything to my family or my doctor.

I went through my A-Levels, summer and the first term of university trying to put all these things to the back of my mind. But by Christmas, I'd lost nearly two stone, was feeling super-weak and going to the toilet in excess of 20 times per day. When I finally saw a GP, he immediately sent me to hospital, where I was admitted and diagnosed with Inflammatory Bowel Disease.

After two weeks of failed Prednisolone and Ciclosporine IV therapy and a good old hospital Christmas Dinner, my bowel had still not responded to treatment, and I suffered a huge bleed on New Year's Day. By January 2nd, I was having emergency surgery to remove the majority of my large bowel (a subtotal colectomy) and a stoma (an end ileostomy) created.

At first, what was happening to me seemed like the worst thing ever. I struggled to come to terms with my diagnosis and surgery, the fact I had to drop out of university for the year, and felt like my world had fallen apart! However, as the year went on, I found there were more and more things I could do with a stoma that simply hadn't been possible when I'd become so ill with UC.

And throughout 2014, I really did live life to the full. I went on holiday (twice!), went to my first music festival, went swimming, ate what I wanted, restarted university, worked a full-time and a part-time job, and volunteered with lots of different projects (some related to my illness, others not). And I began to realise - life really isn't bad with a stoma!

However, saying that, I've decided at 20 that this isn't what I want forever. Which is why, in 6 weeks, I will be going in for the first of two surgeries to reverse my stoma and make a J-pouch. This operation involves removing the final part of my colon and shaping the end of my small intestine into a 'pouch', which means I won't wear a bag anymore.

This blog will go through my journey with J pouch surgery - the good, bad and ugly! I hope that people waiting for surgery will be able to read the blog and see how things really are, from the perspective of someone who's already had it done.

I look forward to sharing the ins and outs of my story in the months to come!

xx