6 weeks to go!

So about now, it's 6 weeks to go until my first of two surgeries to reverse my stoma and make a J-pouch. Safe to say, I'm a real mix of emotions at the moment! Some days, I'm so excited it's like I'm waiting for a hundred Christmases to come at once, other times I'm freaking out and trying to drag back the clock.

So far, I've had about 90% of my colon removed, leaving 10% left (mainly my rectum) and have an end ileostomy, which is literally the very end of my small bowel used to make a stoma.
In the next surgery, I will have the last 10% of my colon taken out, and the end of my small bowel will be folded into a pouch shape. This will then be sewn to my bum, and the surgeon will make another Stoma, a loop ileostomy, further up my bowel above the pouch to let it heal.

In the the final operation some months after, the surgeon will reverse the final Stoma, and I'll pass waste out of my bum again using the pouch.

This is a lot of big complicated stuff, and yes, there's a lot that can go wrong as well as right. A lot of people are put off from J pouch surgery because of the fear that it'll be like having UC again - they worry they'll be incontinent, going to the toilet lots of times per day or be in pain. So many stories on the Internet talk about these issues, so it's not surprising that people are scared.

However, I'm trying to look at the positives here. According to official stats, 95% of pouchers are happy with their surgery. That's a pretty good number. Pouches also improve over time, so even if your function is poor at first, there's lots of room for improvement. I'm also young, which gives my body the very best chance of recovery. I figure that because I was so ill before, and had surgery then, this surgery should technically be a lot easier to handle. I've also had a Stoma for over a year now, so emotionally, I'm ready for what having a new Stoma will feel like.

My biggest worries, though, are the fact that this operation might affect my fertility or my sexual function, and although my surgeon has said he'll try to do keyhole, there is a chance I'm going to wake up having had open surgery again. These are all risks I'm prepared to face. I trust my surgeon, and don't think he'd be offering me this option if it was unsafe. The piece of colon left inside me also needs removing, because as every year goes by, there's a chance it could become cancerous.

Some people dislike the idea of a pouch so much that they opt to have their last piece of colon totally removed, then their bum sewn up. This makes a Stoma permanent. This decision is very personal and unique to everyone, and it's a decision that needs thinking through very carefully with the help of a medical professional. However, after a year of thinking about it and weighing up all my options, a pouch is definitely the way I want to go, and my family support me in my decision.

I'm both scared and excited for what lies ahead. But I've fought on this far, and I'll keep on fighting through the next stage!