9 days to go: Swimming with an ileostomy

I've just got back from a weekend's camping in the Lake District with my boyfriend, which has been absolutely beautiful! One of the things I love best is the outdoors, so it was fantastic to escape for a couple of days. My stomach bug on Friday had cleared up by the evening - it was very mild, so I was fortunate there.

Tomorrow is my pre-op assessment, and I'm excited for the next stage in my journey. I thought I'd talk about a topic that a lot of people wonder about with ostomies - and that's swimming!

10 days to go: Swimming with a stoma

When facing stoma surgery and all the worries that come with it, wondering whether or not you'll be able to go swimming afterwards might seem like a silly or trivial topic to cover. However, you can see why people are curious about this: how is it possible to wear something as tight as a swimming costume and still hide your bag? What happens if the bag comes off in the water? And does the prolonged soaking cause the bag to come unstuck?

In fact, swimming was one of the very first 'sports' I got back to after my operation. You will need to bear in mind that you should not swim if you still have open wounds because of the infection risk, but once you're all healed up, you're ready to go. I started a gentle aqua aerobics class with my mum about 2 months post-op, which was confidence boosting, a bit of exercise and a lot of fun. We became regulars, until the instructor quit and the class got cancelled - we were gutted! In each of these sessions, we were in the pool for hours at a time, and I never once had any problems.

I've since been in the sea on several occasions, and even to Center Parcs and spend hours in the huge swimming paradise - all with 0 problems!

Ostomy bags are designed to be waterproof and do not peel away when wet. However, you may find that when in prolonged contact with water, the edge of the flange may begin to fray or peel slightly. It is unlikely to peel back enough to cause a leak, but for a first-time stoma-swimmer it's likely to cause self-consciousness or anxiety. To avoid this, Coloplast's amazing Brava Extender Tape provides extra security and is completely waterproof. You stick the tape over the edge of your bag's existing flange. The stuff is extremely sticky and hard to remove, and stays on even after hours in the pool. I actually wear these strips all the time, because they just make me feel so secure.

For men and women, www.ostomysecrets.co.uk do a brilliant swim-band for extra security, which flattens your bag to your stomach and holds it in place. You just put your trunks or costume on over the top.

(Apologies here for the men reading my blog - unfortunately, I don't have much advice to give in the way of swimwear!)

For the ladies - you might not like the fact that you can no longer wear your itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny, but the truth is, swimming costumes do not have to equal frumpy. Patterns or dark colours work best to hide your bag, and there's a real variety of pretty and funky costumes out there that are actually very flattering. High-waisted bikinis are also in at the moment, so don't feel guilty about splashing out on them. I personally have one trusty high-waisted pair of black bottoms, then I wear a variety of coloured bikini tops (black goes with anything!).

Chilling on the beach!

As shown brilliantly on Crohn's and Colitis UK (and elsewhere), some ostomates choose to stick to regular bikinis or trunks that show off their bag when on the beach or on holiday by the pool. There's no right or wrong about this - it's all about what makes you feel comfortable. If sunbathing with your bag on show is okay with you, then go rock that summer sun! However, if you'd rather hide your bag, relax in the knowledge that there's a lot of options out there for you in terms of swimwear. 

Personally, although I've shared photos of my bag online, I prefer to cover up by the pool or on the beach simply because I don't want to have to answer any questions. I think it's really admirable when people are body confident and show their bags, but although I'm confident about my own body and my stoma, when I'm on holiday I just want to chill out and not have to think about my bag or my condition, or have people ask me about it.

Bit of a blurry shot - but my nice swimming cozzie! :)

There's no right or wrong option - it's just what makes YOU feel most comfortable. If that means having your bag on show, then don't let anyone's judgment sway your opinion. It's your body, your holiday and if they have a problem, they can always choose to look the other way.

11-10 days to go: Holidays & stomach bugs with a stoma

I'm combining today and tomorrow's posts, as later today I'll be hopping on a train to the Lake District for a weekend camping in the countryside! I doubt there'll be much internet access out there for tomorrow's post.

My choice of topics might sound odd together, but I've actually woken up this morning with something that's either mild food poisoning or a stomach bug, with diarrhea and stomach cramps. I've considered whether going away is still a good idea, but with surgery so close now, I refuse to give up my last trip away before hospital. Still, I thought these two topics were pretty relevant, so here they are!

11 days to go: Holidays with a stoma

A big concern for a lot of new ostomates is problems they might encounter when going on holiday, particularly if that holiday is abroad. For a few months after surgery, for obvious reasons, travelling far from home is probably not the best of ideas. Travel insurance can be hard to come by after major surgery, plus the added worry of experiencing complications while abroad can lead to more stress than it's worth. It's hard enough explaining stoma problems to some UK medics, let alone trying to battle the language barrier in a hospital abroad.

For this reason, I took it easy on my first trip away post-surgery and at around 3 months out I travelled down to Bournemouth to stay with a friend from university for a family party. I was there for perhaps a couple of days at most. It was far enough away to push me out of my comfort zone, but not impossible to get home had any complications come about. At this stage, I was still getting used to caring for my ileostomy, but had gained enough confidence going out and about at home that I felt ready to go a little further afield. That all went smoothly, and I had a great time - for the first time in a while, it meant I could focus on something completely different, without my illness being at the back of my mind.

Going wig crazy on my first UK holiday post-op

Feeling boosted by this positive trip away, at 6 months post-surgery I took the plunge and booked flights to Spain with a group of university friends, where we stayed in someone's parents' holiday villa. I was understandably nervous about the trip, but as all my friends were going, I didn't want to miss out. It was also a chance to get some well-deserved sun after all that had happened to me since January!

Here's some key tips for travelling abroad with an ileostomy:

- Take medical documents with you to the airport. Online, you'll probably find a lot of horror stories about ostomy patients getting stopped at the airport security checks. This worry, combined with the stories of a couple of travellers who've been particularly unfortunate, is enough to put a lot of people off going abroad with their stoma.

In reality however, the vast majority of people will not get stopped by the airport metal detectors at all, let alone quizzed in depth about their stoma. I did not get stopped going into or out of Spain, nor did I get stopped going into or out of Italy 3 months later. By carrying documents with you (certain organisations such as the Ileostomy Association provide members with stoma information cards written in several different languages), it gives you peace of mind that you'll be able to explain yourself should the very unlikely searching scenario arise.

If you did get stopped in any case, I can only imagine that it would help to be candid, open, and honest. Shelve your embarrassment and explain your condition in as honest, layman's terms as possible - "I have a stoma bag due to a bowel disease - this means that I don't poo in the normal way, but out of a hole in my stomach into a bag. That is why I'm wearing it." This might sound mortifying to admit to, but I would imagine this sort of approach is much more likely to allow you on your way more quickly and easily. You're never going to see that airport officer again, and they're probably going to be just as embarrassed and apologetic as you are.

But scrap that, it WON'T happen. You're gonna be just fine!

- Dress for the plane. Back to what I've just covered - you can get through airport metal detectors easily if you remove all possible avenues of potential alarm-raising suspicion. Avoiding any piece of clothing that might cause an alarm brings a lot of peace of mind. When flying, to be certain that I will not set off an alarm (and so not be searched in the first place), I remove jewellery, belts, shoes, and wear a bra without underwiring. These items are often what cause metal detectors to go off. 

Your ostomy bag will inflate slightly on board an aircraft due to cabin pressure. Don't worry about this - it won't become a huge balloon! - but be aware and wear slightly looser clothes that will allow for more comfort and room on board.

- Carry your ostomy supplies in your hand luggage. You will not be allowed your scissors on the flight, so the best option is to cut all your bags beforehand. You will also have to put adhesive remover spray in hand luggage, as it's classed as an aerosol. Some healthcare companies offer sample sachets of adhesive remover gel which could be taken on-flight instead, but remember you'll still have to declare it at security in a clear bag for liquids. As long as your bags and main items are with you at all times, this may avert a disaster if by some chance your hold luggage got lost.

- Take double the amount of supplies you need. Obtaining ostomy supplies abroad is possible, but not easy, and causes a lot of stress that you don't need. It's always better to take more than necessarily than too few. 

- If you are going to a hot country, consider packing rehydration salts. Rehydration salts e.g. Dioralyte or Boots own brand are cheap and can be bought from most chemists or supermarkets. One sachet of salts is mixed with 200ml of water to make a salty drink that helps restore the body from dehydration. It comes in a variety of equally disgusting flavours, but definitely works, so just hold your nose and go for it. Unfortunately you shouldn't be mixing it with juice or anything other than water, as this can dilute the solution too much for it to work effectively.

When abroad, keep hydrated with plenty of isotonic drinks and juices and eat salty snacks. Water is not necessarily the answer, as it can flush out your system and ironically cause further dehydration.

- Pack imodium. These kind of drugs can be a bit of a lifesaver, in any case. I have them in my pocket whatever country I happen to be in.

Me in Malaga, Spain

When you get abroad though, you'll find that all these worries melt away into the summer sun and you end up having the most fantastic time. The idea of a foreign holiday is scary because it's something new and completely different - and there's no option to bolt home if there's any issues. However, your ostomy was made to give you a better life, and allow you to take part in things like holidays that would never have been possible before, so don't let your stoma hold you back.

Me in Rome, Italy

10 days to go: Stomach bugs and food poisoning with a stoma

Seen as I'm cuddled up on the couch writing this blog with a stomach upset, I feel in a pretty good place to explain sickness bugs and stomas! It's happened to me a few times before, so I'm prepared and know how to handle it this time.

Symptoms of a stomach bug with a stoma are very like regular symptoms:

- Stomach cramps

- Diarrhea

- Vomiting

- Loss of appetite

- Raised temperature

The main problem with a bad tummy and an ileostomy is dehydration. Your poop is fairly liquid at the best of times, and when you have 'diarrhea' with an ileostomy, your stoma output is literally just brown water, as fluid as if it was running from the tap. Your output may smell extremely bad. Your bag will fill with water sometimes several times an hour, and the output will feel hot as it empties into the bag against the skin. I've found that I'll have a wave of stomach cramps, then my bag will suddenly fill.

If your stomach bug is mild, it should last no longer than 24 hours. This sort of bug can potentially be tackled at home. Drink only isotonic drinks - avoid water. Eat salty snacks, like crisps or pretzels, if you can stomach it. Consider drinking rehydration salts even if you don't feel dehydrated. The point is, to keep on top of your bug before it becomes an issue - making sure you stay hydrated is the biggest plus here.

Be aware and watch out for the symptoms of severe dehydration. If you have any of these, call NHS 111 or visit A&E. These include:

- Feeling very thirsty

- Dry mouth, tongue and dry eyes that do not produce tears

- Dry, papery feel to skin

- Weakness

- Dizziness/fainting

- Palpitations

- Confusion

Being admitted to hospital for dehydration can be alarming, but it's actually a very quick and easy problem to sort. I was once admitted to hospital with my ileostomy for dehydration in October 2014. The story went a bit like this.

I'd just been to Italy, and on our last day we visited the ruins at Pompeii and ate at a local restaurant. Unfortunately, the meat my dad and I ate at the restaurant appeared to be the problem, as we both developed food poisoning the next day when we were due to fly home. My mum, who's veggie, was fine. As we were so busy getting to the airport and boarding the plane, I didn't have time to buy/make rehydration salts and thought I'd be fine. I emptied my bag several times at the airport and on the plane, and each time it was just water, getting clearer each time. Our flight touched down at around 7pm, and my parents drove me back to my university accomodation before leaving for home.

In the uni flat on my own, I began to realise just how ill I felt. I was shaking, and felt dizzy and dazed. All I wanted to do was curl up and sleep, but I realised something wasn't right. My tongue was dry to the touch, and the skin on my face, arms and hands had begun to feel leathery. My bag was still filling with clear water, despite not eating anything in the past 24 hours, and I was emptying it every half an hour. I remembered that I hadn't urinated since before our flight.

I rang NHS 111, who advised me to go to an out of hours GP. It took an unusual amount of effort to get the bus to the GP practice - and in the time from leaving the house, to getting the ten minute bus, my bag had filled to the brim with more water. The GP noticed my racing pulse and commented that my eyes looked sunken. I remember rubbing my eyes at one point and they were bone dry. By this stage, I also felt pretty confused. I mixed up times and dates, forgot my address, and was generally pretty out of it. The GP called me a taxi to A&E - it was now around 1am in the morning!

My cannula in, ready for rehydration to begin

Once there, they confirmed I had severe dehydration and set me up on a trolley in a side room. There I received intravenous saline fluid through a drip in my arm. I fell asleep for most of this. At 4am, a nurse came in and woke me up telling me the saline was finished, and I was fine to go home. I got a taxi home, not quite believing how quickly everything had developed!

If you're ever unsure, consult an emergency doctor for advice on dehydration, because sometimes a bug can be so severe that you just can't manage it yourself.

12 days to go: Eating with a stoma

It's now 12 days to go until I'll be walking into hospital to have my J-pouch made! That means a step in the right direction in my UC journey, but also means saying goodbye to my trusty end ileostomy. We've had a love-hate relationship in the 17 months we've known each other, but all in all, it'll be weird saying bye to the original end stoma that saved my life and hello to the loop stoma that will replace it!

In a farewell to my trusty endie, I'm doing a post a day for 12 days covering some issues I've dealt with over the 17 months. I hope it'll be informative!

Ellie :)

12 days to go: Eating with an End Ileostomy

One of the big worries people tend have when going in for their colectomy is how limited their diet might be after the surgery. Your consultant or stoma nurse will likely present you with a list of foods you might now struggle to digest, the biggest culprits for trouble being skins on vegetables, stringy fruits, nuts, popcorn, mushroom and corn. Other issues that cause concern are odour, caused by fish, onions and beans. Another worry is increased and/or runnier output, caused by alcohol, chocolate and dairy.

Looking at this pretty extensive list, some people are understandably concerned! After years of bowel disease (and a limited diet anyway), cutting out certain foods post-op may not seem like a big deal at all, but it still might sound a bit of a blow to go through such a huge surgery - meant to improve your condition and lifestyle - and then being told that all these yummy foods are a no-no.

Well, I've got good news for you! Turns out, they're NOT a no-no, after all. Well, not for most people. Hear me out on this.

In the first few days after surgery, be careful to eat a minimal fibre diet. Good post-op foods include white rice, white bread, plain fish, plain meat and mashed potato. Chew carefully and eat slowly. Over the next few weeks, begin to introduce foods one at a time and begin to understand how your new digestive system works. Don't let anyone rush you into trying new foods if you're not ready - this is a personal journey.

Foods that help to thicken stools include potatoes, jelly, jelly sweets (jelly babies, wine gums, midget gems), marshmallows.

The biggest 'warning' foods are those that have the potential to cause blockages. This is when hard-to-digest food becomes trapped behind the opening of the stoma, causing severe abdominal cramping and stopping output. A blockage lasting more than several hours is considered a medical emergency. These are the foods that would usually have been dealt with by the colon, that your small bowel struggles to handle. These include: vegetables with skins, stringy fruits e.g. oranges, sweetcorn, nuts, popcorn, mushrooms.
But regardless of any warnings and concerns, I have eaten all of these foods since surgery, and enjoyed them in copious quantities! (see jolly sweetcorn-eating photo below)

I can't lie - these foods can cause issue if not handled correctly. However, you've got to bear in mind that people with an intact digestive system would also encounter problems if they wolfed down hard-to-digest meals. Your ostomy doesn't necessarily mean that these foods are off limits. Here's a few tips in handling these tricky titbits:

1) Do not introduce these foods too soon after surgery. When your bowel is handled in surgery, it tends to swell, which is why a stoma appears golf-ball size in the days immediately post-op. This makes digestion problems and blockages more likely. Avoid all of these difficult foods for at least 4 weeks after surgery.

2) When introducing them, eat small amounts and try the foods one at a time. For example, try a small spoonful of sweetcorn alongside other food that's easily digestible, and see if it causes a problem. Some people find it helps to make a food diary to record any bad effects.

3) CHEW. Chew these foods more than you've chewed food before. Crunch the nuts into tiny bits, the sweetcorn to a pulp if you have to. It'll be weird at first, but you soon get used to eating certain foods this way. It also means you appreciate the taste more, I think.

4) If a food causes a problem, don't be afraid to try it a second time. Just because a food caused a problem one time, it may not happen again. Give it a few weeks, then try it again.

After about 6 months, even the trickiest of foods became very edible for me. Mushrooms were my only issue, and I encountered a particularly nasty blockage at a music festival after eating a takeaway mushroom risotto (typical!) Since then though, I've chewed extra-well without problems.

Another issue people worry about is odour. Certain foods, like beans, onions, fish and meat can cause your bag output to smell worse. This is true, but does not mean that you should forgo these nutritious and yummy foods for the sake of other people's noses! You've undergone major surgery and survived a near death experience, so don't let other people judge the smell of your poop. Their poop probably doesn't smell like roses either.

If the smell of your bag really bothers you (and it does smell worse than normal poo, that is true), you can put tic tacs or charcoal tablets into your bag to lessen odours, or a lot of healthcare companies make special drops that neutralise bag smells. Alternatively, buy a good quality air freshener, carry a small body spray in your bag when you go out, or strike a match and blow it out immediately after using the toilet to get rid of bad smells.

The last issue people encounter with food is increasing output and gas. This can be caused by alcohol, chocolate, beans and dairy. 

When drinking alcohol (which I do quite a lot of as a student, I have to say...), spirits are the best as they have little to no effect on output in terms of consistency/amount. Wines and beers tend to create more liquid/gas. This can be controlled by taking imodium before a night out (imodium is safe to take with alcohol), and eating something easily digestible and stomach-settling beforehand, like mashed potato. Be aware that you will both get drunk and sober up more quickly than you did when you had a colon, so learn to recognise your new limits. You are also at more risk of dehydration, so consider drinking water or soft drinks in between alcoholic ones.

Dairy products and chocolate do increase output, but only if eaten in copious quantities. It really doesn't affect you all that much. However, be aware that sugar-free sweets may cause diarrhea.

Gas noise from your stoma can be helped by covering the stoma with your hand, but often isn't as loud as you think. You hear it because you notice it, but other people may not necessarily have even heard it. Gas doesn't necessarily sound like a 'fart' either, it can sound like stomach rumbling, which you can blame it on (less embarrassing perhaps!) Although you can't stop gas coming out of the stoma, you can usually feel pressure/bubbling when it's about to happen, and over time you'll learn when it might begin to make noise. Before an episode of wind for example, my stomach will growl a lot before the actual audible noises start, giving me enough time to stifle the stoma with my hand.

Some foods may change the colour of your stoma output: bile will change your output green, and several foods such as beetroot, tomatoes (including soup), jelly, food colouring can change the colour red - don't panic and think you're bleeding, which can be an easy mistake to make! Red jelly has perhaps the most disturbing appearance and can sometimes come out in lumps looking a bit like blood clots. Bear this in mind if you're eating it for the first time post-op to avoid panic later (I cried and freaked out and rang my stoma nurse...)

Oh - and a last point - to avoid night trips or accidents, aim to eat your evening meal around 4-6 hours before bedtime.

All in all, enjoy your food after surgery! For many, having an ostomy will be an opportunity to introduce foods they could never have imagined before. Your diet has the potential to be a lot more varied than before, so don't hold back - try everything, savour it, and relax in the knowledge that you will no longer have to dash to the loo after eating something interesting!

What I'm dreading about hospital...

Sorry for the while since my last post - been away on a final pre-op holiday! Center Parcs was amazing, perfect for relaxing and letting off some steam from exams.

I'm not usually one to sound down or apprehensive in my posts, but with just under 3 weeks until my J pouch surgery, I'd be lying if I said I was 100% confident. Some things about this operation, I'm really dreading.

I think my biggest worry is the post-op pain I'm facing. Having had open surgery for my colectomy when my health was much, much poorer, I kinda know what I'm letting myself in for, but that doesn't help the fact that I know this sort of surgery involves a lot of pain. Last time, it wasn't the incision pain that bothered me, surprisingly enough, but the pain in my bottom! It was a heavy, dull pain that was sometimes really hard to handle. As I'm having my rectum removed this time, I'm expecting a similar sort of pain, by maybe even a little worse than before.

I'm also worried for the fact that I don't know yet if I'm having keyhole or open, and I won't find out until I wake up. My surgeon has said he will try keyhole, but may have to switch to open part way through the op, depending on how much scar tissue he encounters. I've had an open wound before, so I'd be okay with it, but the thought of not knowing is worrying me considerably!

Perhaps my biggest fear of all for the next op is the knowledge that I'll be waking up with a surgical drain in my side. For me, this is something I can't bear to even think about. I'll admit to having a real phobia of surgical drains. Last time, I became obsessed with the thing, and believed I could feel it moving with every breath. I wouldn't cough because I'd feel it move, and ordered my visitors to stand at least a metre away from it at all times! Understanding my fear, the amazing nurses gave me some laughing gas for its removal, but still the fear of the drain remains. When that comes out again, I'll be having a post-drain party ;)

And, of course, the idea of going into hospital - being away from family and friends, the feeling of isolation at times,and staying in bed for hours on end - it's not something I'm looking forward to.

I'm trying my best to stay positive - and aim to dive into this headfirst. I've made my decision and it's no pain no gain - this operation will give me the J pouch I'm longing for. That's got to be worth it in the end.

'Loop' or 'end' - just how different can they be?

In just over 3 weeks, the trusty 'end' Ileostomy I've had for over a year will be replaced by a 'loop' ileostomy - and if I go by what I read online, I'm facing a whole different beast.

It'd be good to start by distinguishing the two. An 'end' ileostomy does just what its name suggests - the surgeon literally disconnects the end of the small intestine  from your colon, and that end becomes your stoma. End ileostomies are good, because it means you haven't lost any small intestine, so you're less likely to suffer nutrient deficiencies. Waste from an end ileostomy can sometimes be pretty solid, and the stoma itself has a 'protruding' appearance, meaning it's pretty much a little spout shape. If you have an emergency subtotal colectomy or a permanent ileostomy, chances are you have an 'end'.

A 'loop' is usually formed before a j pouch is connected. It has two openings - like a little 8 shape - but only one of the ends actually produces waste. Imagine a garden hose, cut, and both cut ends being placed side by side. This sort of stoma is always temporary. Mine will mean that my pouch gets time to heal and no waste will be going through the pouch until a later date.

The loop is higher up your bowel, which means increased frequency, more watery output. It also puts you at increased risk of dehydration and deficiencies, because the full length of your small bowel isn't being used. It is flatter to the skin, making it more prone to leaks. You're also more likely to get blockages with a loop. Yikes.

Almost everyone I speak to hates their loop. I've only met a few people who were happy with it. However, this doesn't necessarily mean the loop is awful. For those who have their pouch done planned, a loop stoma is all they will ever know (they don't get an end stoma, and only need 2 ops). So, with no stoma experience, they're being thrown in at the deep end.

I'd like to see this loop as 'stoma level 2'. Yes, I'm levelling up! Lol! I've had over a year of this lovely easy end, now the game is getting a bit more tricky. I'm sure I'll have moments of anger and frustration with my loop - but just as I did with my end, I'll overcome the little shortfalls and keep smiling.

In my mind, as well, I'll know it's the final stage. Just around the corner will be my shiny new pouch, sitting there in my body just waiting for connection! What a feeling!

Yes, this loop might challenge me, but a bag is a bag after all. Nothing I haven't done before, nothing I can't overcome!

1 month to go!

So here it is. Official. 1 month today until I'll be arriving at hospital, getting into my gown ready for the first step of my pouch surgery!

This means the surgeon is set to remove my remaining rectum, create a pouch, and make a temporary stoma to let the pouch heal.

A year has passed so quickly. It really doesn't seem more than a few days since I was sat in the surgeon's office, being told I had another year to go before I could take this next step. At the time, it seemed like an age to wait, but I've done so much with the year that it's actually flown by.

In the year and 4 months I've had my ileostomy, I've achieved so much - much more than I ever imagined I would. I've returned to university and completed my first year (no colitis break this time!), and I'm sitting my exams next week. I've volunteered with the Ileostomy Association, with the specialist London bowel hospital St Mark's, and taken part in several events with Crohn's and colitis UK. I've volunteered at a local youth club and accompanied them on a gold Duke of Edinburgh expedition through the Welsh mountains, I've helped recruit people to the bone marrow register, I've registered to work at a kids camp over the summer (specially for kids with chronic illnesses and disabilities). I've recently completed a fantastic work experience placement.

All these things and more have been possible with a stoma - I haven't mentioned the festivals, gigs, camping trips, theme parks and 2 foreign holidays - it really hasn't stopped me in the slightest.

My health is better than it's been in YEARS, and it's all thanks to this little bag!

I'm really excited to be starting the next stage of my journey so soon. Of course, I'm apprehensive - post-op pain, the scarring, the possibility of complications are all on my mind. But I've already made my decision, and I remind myself of that whenever I feel scared. So many people with pouches have a brilliant outcome - I just hope I'm one of them!

My nerves haven't kicked in yet - I've got exams first. We'll see how I'm doing next week when they're over ;)