The other night, I went out of the house for the second time since the surgery, but this time to a proper event - a close friend's family garden party. It was a really lovely evening and I had the chance to catch up with some good friends that I hadn't seen for a while. I also had a whole range of different foods at the buffet - it's safe to say that the low fibre diet has gone out of the window, and I'm back to adding in all the naughty things (like veggies with skins). I even had a bit of sweetcorn the other day! Nothing has caused a problem yet, so touch wood I'm hoping that eating is going to be just as varied with the loop stoma as it was with the end one.
I surprised myself with how well I felt at the party, and although I thought I'd have to leave quite early, we stayed as late as anyone else! I was sat down for the majority of it, but that didn't really matter as everyone else still gathered round for a catch up.
Back on form for the party!
So that evening we had a really brilliant time. I'm trying to focus on stuff like that to ignore the stuff that's been going wrong lately - like the loop stoma. After 17 months with the end stoma, I really thought I had the hang of this bag business by now, but apparently not. Nothing really seems to be working to solve my problems, which is frustrating.
Right now, I can't seem to keep a bag on for more than about 6 hours without the thing starting to leak. It's only the tiniest amount, but I can feel it burning the skin. This has happened so many times that around half of the stoma, the skin's now completely burnt away, leaving it totally raw. Where it's raw, it's turned really watery, which makes the bags stick even less - it's a bit of a vicious circle really, as the more it leaks the more the skin gets damaged, and it becomes more watery, which means more leaks. It's also pretty damn painful. In an effort to solve this, I've ordered no end of samples - washers, and paste - both of which have so far done absolutely nothing. Washers won't even stick to the skin that's raw and damaged, and the stoma's so flat to the skin that they don't really work anyway. Paste works a little better, but it's still not quite the answer. I've even used powder on the damaged skin, which is great at first, but doesn't seem to help for very long. I'm getting through so many bags a day that I'm quite worried I'm going to run out and exceed my allowed amount.
Added to this, I'm also having a problem with peeing! It's pretty difficult to pee at all, like it's some sort of partial retention. This is currently the source of a lot of annoyance. I'm hoping it's a temporary thing, and not some damage from scar tissue or something similar. I guess only time will tell. I'm just hoping it doesn't get worse!
My mood right now
These issues together have got me quite down lately. I'm just so sick of changing bags all day long. I think a stoma doesn't have to limit your life, when it's working well. When it's playing up, it can be a real pain in the disused ass. Right now, I wouldn't feel that confident to go anywhere that I couldn't rush home quickly - and it shouldn't be like that. Fortunately, I don't have to go anywhere for a while yet, so I'm hoping things will resolve before then. I've got another visit from my nurse in a few days, when we'll hopefully find a solution to the problems I've had. Until then, I'm just going to stay in the house and chill out.
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