5 weeks: Nights out and new solutions!

I'm now just over 5 weeks post-pouch construction and loop stoma, and things are going really brilliantly! Everything is on the up, and it's been a fantastic week since I last posted here - a LOT has happened!

I think I'm happiest of all at the fact that I've finally found a combination of stoma supplies which work for my troublesome loop ileostomy. For the first time since the surgery, I can actually go about my day without burning skin or itchiness, which is absolute bliss. Finally, just like I eventually did with my end stoma, I'm actually going round totally forgetting I have an ostomy bag. This is a big step considering that last week I'd resigned myself to discomfort, thinking that this would become the new 'norm' until my reversal. How much difference a few small changes can make!

In a courtesy call from Coloplast (my usual supplier), I spoke to a lovely man about my issues who asked me to send in a photo of my stoma for their nurses to assess. This allowed them to send me some products that would work the best for my situation, which included a new sort of paste, and an ostomy belt.

The thought of a belt bothered me at first, because it seemed so restrictive and uncomfortable, and there was just something about it - I'm not even sure what, the appearance of it maybe? - that put me off. But after trying it just a couple of times, I'm a HUGE fan. It makes such a difference, it's unbelievable. I LOVE MY BELT! <3

The belt is basically a strip of elastic with a hook on either end. You can shorten or lengthen it to the size of your waist, then fit it to the two small hooks into plastic clips on the bag itself (some convex bags have these clips to allow the use of a belt). It pushes your stoma out, meaning it's less flat to the skin. It's not even that uncomfortable to wear (except on a full stomach) and you actually forget about it pretty quickly. I guess it reminded me a bit of when I first had to start wearing bras - sorry guys, not really something you can relate to!

With my confidence boosted, and totally forgetting about the bag being there for the first time in over a month, I decided that last night was the time to hit the town. Me and a few friends got together for a much needed catch up, drinks and a great time! I also (nervously) tried alcohol again - which was quite interesting. Turns out that a loop ileostomy makes you into a serious lightweight. Let that be a warning for anyone planning to drink with one. After just one drink, I was genuinely stumbling!

Just like my end ileostomy though, the effects of the alcohol go away as quickly as they come on, meaning that by the end of the night you're usually back to normal. It's important to stay hydrated if you're drinking alcohol with an ileostomy, and certain drinks can affect your output, but most spirits and some ciders are fine.

Earlier in the week, I went out for dinner with another friend who I hadn't seen in a while, and we had some really lovely food at Wagamamas (Japanese food). My diet is well and truly back to normal, and I've tried pretty much everything again, even the 'banned' foods - guess who ate a whole bag of pistachio nuts this afternoon! The rule as always is to chew well - particularly with a loop stoma, when the food's passing through very quickly.

Gorgeous spicy soup - with lots of veg!

I'm also going back to my part time job as of next week, which means getting back into driving! I'm quite excited to get back behind the wheel, and get back into more of a routine. I had a blood test this week, which will hopefully show that I'm now free of anaemia.

And finally, my funny story of the week - when fitting my bag one time, I tried the 'hairdryer' trick, which I've seen talked about online a few times. Apparently, blowing the bag with a blast of hot air makes it stick better and more thoroughly. I think I was a bit overenthusiastic, and I somehow managed to melt my ostomy bag and burn my stoma! It really was awful! After only about 10 seconds of blowing on the hottest setting (and probably holding it a bit too close), the window into my bag actually blistered and melted, and the stoma itself burst into blisters and started to bleed - which didn't hurt because it has no sensation, but was still a shock. I stopped immediately after that! Here's a bit of a warning to anyone else planning this trick - it works, but less is more, and NOT too hot! Fortunately, my stoma had healed in a few days! 

I'm keeping busy and however good I'm feeling now, I know it's only going to get better, which is something to really look forward to!

It's not your stoma, it's you: A thought on relationship worries post-op

Although my blog is about as personal as it gets - let's face it, years ago I never thought I'd be sharing bowel stories with the world - I don't often go into detail on other events in my personal life. That's largely because I think that non-health stories about me would get pretty boring, but also because my blog's whole purpose is to talk about the effects of UC and how they might affect other people, not just about me as an individual.

However, I think this story is a good one to share as it's a worry that's common to a lot of patients facing stoma surgery. In fact, it's one of THE biggest issues that people worry about. Will anyone want to date me with a stoma? Will people find me attractive anymore? Or will this bag spell the end of all dates, all relationships, and mean permanent rejection from now on?

I think, for starters, people who are in a relationship and those who are single face a different set of challenges. For someone who is single, they may worry about the prospect of dating, when/how much to tell a new partner about their illness, and the issue of rejection. For a person who's in a relationship - even someone in a happy, stable marriage - they may worry that their current partner won't find them attractive anymore, or might find someone else more attractive.

I've only ever had one serious boyfriend since the age of 15, and we've been together for the best part of five and a half years. For the most part, we've had a really brilliant relationship. We've pretty much grown up together, and we're not only together, but we're also best friends. David has been such a support through all of the illness and surgery that I couldn't have asked for someone more attentive or caring, and for that I'll always be grateful to him.

When first told in hospital that I'd need a stoma and what it meant, I remember ringing him in tears and telling him we needed to talk about something serious when he came in that afternoon. I showed him the bag that the nurse had given me - to hold, look at, and get the feel of - and explained what that meant. I remember saying pretty defiantly - 'if it grosses you out, just leave me now, don't wait until I'm better, because that would hurt more!' He said I was being ridiculous of course, and whatever made me better, he was happy with. He was even there when they marked me up with a sharpie ready for surgery - when they mark with a spot where your stoma will be placed.

Things went brilliantly at first. In the months after the operation, I think we were closer than ever. I was amazed that he'd accepted this so quickly, without a hint of disgust or pulling away. But as time went on, and I began to have periods of insecurity and low self-esteem, this amazement began to turn into doubt, then disbelief. How could someone be okay with this? I thought, at that stage feeling like the ugliest person in the world with my new stoma. If it hadn't been for us being together for so long, I don't think he'd accept it. He might think it's disgusting and just not want to hurt my feelings. I think I'm ugly, so how can anyone else think otherwise?

However much he reassured me this wasn't true, I became so wrapped up in my own thoughts that all I could see was myself as this unattractive, skinny, ill-looking girl, needing frequent treatment and further surgery. I saw myself as a liability. We're both young - we were still teenagers at this time - and I often thought that a guy this age would prefer a healthier girl with a 'nice' stomach. Let's face it, there's plenty of them out there!

I became so sure of my doubts that I began to push him away. I was so convinced that he'd want to leave at any moment, that I was determined to be the one to make the first move. What I didn't realise, however, was that I was slowly destroying something that was already perfect. He had accepted it, as I would later (too late) come to realise. But I just couldn't see it. And in the months that continued, I started to become paranoid, snappy, short-tempered and quite honestly a pain to be around. I was really, really awful. I really don't know how we held it together for so long.

Although I was confident in every other respect - dressing, eating, going out and about - my insecurity about my relationship was the one issue that simply wouldn't shift. I went back to university in September, and until April this year, we carried on what was a really strained relationship - fighting, falling out and generally being unhappy. Logically, I couldn't understand why I still didn't believe that he was okay with my appearance - but I just couldn't get the thought out of my head. I became obsessively paranoid over other girls, largely because I saw them as being better and prettier than me without a stoma. And eventually, without going into too much detail, someone else did eventually come onto the scene on his side. We finally ended our relationship of five and a half years, and I felt absolutely heartbroken.

At first, I still thought it was because of how I looked. KNEW IT. My worst fears had finally been realised! I was ugly, and he'd finally found a prettier girl who didn't have this illness, as I'd always thought would happen. And then, after a lot of time alone thinking and turning things over in my head, the penny finally dropped. It wasn't the bag that had ruined our relationship. It was me.

Yes, of course I'd been ill. 'You couldn't help how you were feeling', people said to me. That was partly true. Insecurity is a big part of having a stoma. But in my insecurity, I stopped giving credit to the boyfriend who'd stuck by me for nearly a quarter of my life - and I'd started to judge his character based on my own feelings, which was completely unfair and undeserved. He never did anything to make me feel unloved, unattractive or unwanted, yet I'd spent a year throwing around accusations and getting angry because of my own low self esteem. I never once sat and told him how much I appreciated him, how grateful I was for his support or how much I cared for him. I talked a lot about my illness itself, but not how it really made me feel. No wonder that he didn't want to be in this relationship anymore - it had become miserable for both of us.

And so, we sat down and had the longest conversation I think I've ever had in my life (all over the phone, because I was still in London - thank goodness for unlimited minutes!) and opened up about how we'd both been feeling for so long. Finally, we decided what we'd had for so many years was too good to let go, and drew a line in the sand to start again. From then on, it's been absolutely brilliant, just how it should have been for the past year! I love him to bits and he's my real rock. I feel like since I finally opened up about my insecurities, they began to melt away. I finally believe that he was okay with it, and my confidence soared.

But for anyone approaching this stoma surgery in a relationship, my biggest piece of advice is this. If your partner says that they're okay with it, then please, believe them. This person loves you for who you are. Not for what you wear on your stomach. Your stoma shouldn't dominate any aspect of your life, let alone who you love. If someone is decent and genuine, and really thinks a lot of you, then they will stand by you. And this is credit to them, their goodness and their honesty. Love that person all the more for standing by you and helping you through. If you feel insecure, tell them, and tell them exactly why - make sure they know it's your problem, not theirs. 'I wish I didn't feel this way, but I just feel so unattractive. It's nothing you've done, it's just how I'm feeling. I'd really appreciate your support right now. Thank you for being there for me.'

And if they don't accept you with a stoma (this goes for single people too), then they are NOT worthy of your time. I know that's pretty easy to say. But just think - a person who would reject you for your stoma isn't someone you could confidently spend a life with. Disability or illness could theoretically strike at any time. What if you'd developed another illness, or been in an accident? Would they have run away then? What about growing old together? Would that gross them out as well?

Where one person rejects, another will accept. Online in various forums and groups, I've spoken to people who've had stomas since birth, and have gone through their whole lives navigating the dating world with a stoma. Some of these people have had many different partners. I think this partly comes with confidence. For these people, they've always had a stoma, so it's just a natural part of them and they probably feel more self-assured when talking about it. For a person who's newly had surgery, the big change in body image can be a problem. If you speak to a potential date and sound negative about your stoma, down, worried or insecure about it, they might think there's something to worry about, or that it's some big deal. If you're able to adopt a 'this is me, love it or leave it' attitude, it seems that potential others will be far more accepting - at least, this is the general opinion out there online.

Gaining confidence is easier said than done. But those who truly value you, will accept you as a whole, not in parts. That might sound ridiculously cheesy, but it's the truth. A partner has to be someone who takes you as you are, warts and all. Now that's a person worth keeping.

1 month today!

It's now exactly 1 month to the day of my second surgery that will eventually lead to my stoma reversal and J pouch. It's really flown by, and I've started to realise that this 'massive' summer holiday I've got from university is actually going more quickly than I expected! I still have slight pain in my lower incision (feels more like a strain/pulled muscle when I move a certain way), but other than that I'm getting back to health - my diet's also back to normal, and I'm eating everything except the most troublesome foods (corn, mushrooms, nuts etc - but they'll definitely be back on the menu soon!) I'm feeling pretty upbeat, and a lot more like my normal self. Here's what I consider to be my biggest achievements so far :)

- Learning to deal with a loop stoma and finally getting some confidence back to go out and about
- Having the confidence/energy to go for a picnic (far away from any toilets!)
- Getting out and about, particularly heading into town on my own

House party last week for my best mate's 20th!

Most of all, I'm proud that I'm finally overcoming the tiredness/anaemia/pain of surgery and getting my life back on track again. The above might not seem like massive 'achievements' - okay, so the picnic I had was walkable from my house, and town isn't miles away. But when you've had this sort of surgery, which can be such an upheaval in your life, I think it's important to consider even the smallest things as being 'achievements'. Anything you do that takes you out of your comfort zone, challenges you, however small, is something to be proud of. It's one step closer to getting better. And another middle finger up to your disease. Getting around and doing 'normal' things means you're kicking that illness into touch. And that's definitely something to be proud of!

Getting dressed up for the first time since op 

My loop stoma, as you might have read before, has caused me a lot of grief so far. It's finally stopped shrinking/changing shape since surgery and seems to be staying at a regular size, which is progress. It's still not perfect though - the stoma is so flat to the skin that no bag lasts longer than 24 hours, even with paste, powder and/or washers. The skin underneath the stoma is also still raw, because the stoma is so flush that I always get slight seepage even when I've done a really good job fitting it. After trying all the options, I've just accepted that this is how it's going to be until my reversal. It's only 6 months, and I can put up with that. It's not ideal and I don't like it, but there's no point getting down about it, because I've done the best I can and that will have to do! The discomfort of the raw skin is something I'm actually used to by now, and I'm starting to ignore.

I'm getting better at fitting the bags, too. However, there's still some days when I fit it perfectly, and other days when I mess it up. On those days I feel frustrated, but try to remember that it's all part and parcel of the learning process. In September, my healthcare company are apparently releasing a new brand of bag which fits better to your body, so fingers crossed that this will be a better future option.

In other news, I've got plenty of other things lined up for the months ahead. I'm hoping to start driving again, perhaps getting back to part time work. I'm potentially going out to town in the next few weeks (although alcohol completely flushes me out now - I tried one glass and it didn't go well - so that won't be on the menu). I'm clearing out last year's university house and moving into my new one at the end of July. And most of all, I'm looking forward to making the most of summer now I'm feeling a lot better!

Treat meal out with friends tonight - my diet's definitely not limited anymore!

Why did it take me over a year to report my IBD symptoms to a doctor?

In my time using health forums and blogging, I've had a lot of understandable questions about why, after I suffered for over a year with 'severe' Ulcerative Colitis symptoms (and even longer with 'mild' ones), I never once reported my problems to a doctor.

For a start, I'm not the typical IBD patient. I never endured years of different drug treatments or hospital visits. I never tried different diets or therapies. I'd never even heard of IBD or ostomies before my diagnosis. We have no family history of illness. The time between my official diagnosis and first surgery was so short - only a couple of weeks, all of which I spent in a hospital bed.

The solid fact, one which I'll have to live with, is that had I gone for medical help much sooner, I may have avoided surgery, for a few more years at least.

So how did it all begin? Looking back, I had a touchy stomach for pretty much all of my teenage years. From around 15 years old, I'd suffer from bloating, stomach cramps and constipation. I certainly had no bleeding at this point, or anything to suggest that my problems were anything more serious than a bit of IBS. I'd get other odd problems too - swollen and itchy eyes, which always cleared up on their own, which I blamed on cheap mascara. I tired easily, but put that down to late nights and school stress.

Me aged 16, before everything started

I can't confidently link these symptoms to my IBD - they may have been nothing more than an unlucky coincidence. But by late 2012, when I'd just turned 18, I experienced the first symptoms that should have been more of a cause for concern. I remember first passing blood, which was accompanied at that point with constipation (now, I know, a symptom of early proctitis). But seeing the two together, although a shock, convinced me that this was nothing more than a case of piles. Constipation and bleeding - a classic, right? Added to the fact that I had nothing on my medical record since childhood, I didn't think of it as much of a problem. I just carried on as normal.

I began to experience episodes of bleeding and constipation every month or so, which lasted for a week or two. By early 2013, constipation and bleeding had turned into diarrhoea and bleeding. But when I say bleeding, it was only a couple of drops most times, and I'd already firmly convinced myself that this was somehow normal, or not much of an issue.

As I worked through my A levels, my 'little problem' began to worsen. Bleeding/diarrhoea episodes 'every month or so' became 'every other week'. Distracted by studying and planning for my post-school summer, I kept on ignoring it. I told myself that it would go away on its own. On work experience in summer, the symptoms really began to kick off. I remember going to a local chemist and in desperation buying a pack of piles suppositories along with a pack of Imodium. The cashier gave me a worried look and asked me 'if there's anything I wanted to talk about'. Embarrassed, I said no, and left.

I packed my summer full of fun activities and felt ready for uni in September. I'd got into my first choice university and couldn't wait to start. I went on a party holiday with friends to Malia and had a brilliant summer.

Paint partying in Malia, summer 2013 - my stomach pre-surgery!

I started university in September and got fully involved in fresher life. At this point, I was also a regular blood donor. I went to my routine donation appointment in November, only to be told that I was too anaemic to donate. So anaemic, in fact, that the clinic barred me from the donor register for 3 months and told me to make an urgent GP appointment.

This should have rung alarm bells, but it still didn't. By this stage, ignorance had become complete denial. I was starting to worry about what was happening to my body, but thought that it couldn't be something serious if I'd been living quite normally for so long. Telling myself that it wasn't serious was my way of coping. And most of all, I was just so embarrassed. I was 18, just turning 19. Which girl this age wants to discuss her bowel movements?

So when I went to the GP and told him I was anaemic, I still didn't mention my bleeding. He assumed I was anaemic because of my age and sex, and prescribed iron tablets.

By this stage (late Nov/early Dec) I was pretty pale

A week into taking these in late November, the symptoms erupted like never before. Things went downhill very quickly. The bleeding became constant. I'd be running to the toilet countless times a day, and I'd be woken several times at night. The cramping became worse. I became relentlessly tired. I'd sleep all night and wake up the next day just as tired as before. I'd even nap between lectures. My appetite slowed, and I realised I'd lost weight.

Throughout December, I struggled on until the end of term when my tutor saw me in university and told me just how ill I looked. She suggested I get the first train home, which I did. Back in Nottingham, I spent a week on the sofa, getting steadily weaker. My mum, not realising how long this had been going on, thought I was suffering from some sort of bug. By now, the breathlessness had started. I became breathless climbing the stairs and walking around. Then I became breathless just sat in a chair. Then even lying still made me feel like I'd run for miles. The scales showed that I'd lost 2 stone. I'd started to experience shooting pains all over my body - in my jaw, my limbs, and most worryingly my chest.

When I look back at this photo, it shocks me how drained I look. Early Dec 2013

When my mum finally convinced me to come to an emergency GP appointment on 16th December, the doctor took one look at me sat in the chair and dialled the hospital to request a bed for me. I finally confessed to my year's worth of symptoms. After his assessment, I remember him telling me, with decisive certainty, 'You have either Crohn's Disease, or Ulcerative Colitis. I think it's the second.'

At my point of admission, I had less than half the Hb in my blood than I should have. I was severely underweight, dehydrated, and deficient in five different minerals. The doctor who first saw me in hospital asked me if I'd taken any illegal drugs. I hadn't, and asked him why, and he said 'why else would you not come for help sooner, when you were clearly so sick?' Until the tests came back negative for any substances, I'm not sure he believed me when I said I'd simply been too embarrassed.

Christmas Day 2013 in hospital

Once in hospital, things moved quickly. A flexi-sigmoidoscopy confirmed UC. My stomach started to swell and bulge, even though the resy of me was stick thin. I was being X-rayed daily for signs of toxic megacolon. IV Prednisolone did nothing. IV Ciclosporine initially appeared to touch the symptoms, but after Christmas and New Year in hospital, a severe hemorrhage on New Year's Day confirmed that my colon's time was up. I had my emergency colectomy on January 2nd, a few weeks after I'd been diagnosed, and a few days after I'd ever heard of ostomies. Months later, my post-op report came back confirming pancolitis - ulceration of the entire colon. Basically, as bad as it gets.



So what has my experience with IBD meant to me? For a start, my own story was what initially inspired me to reach out to others. I can't be the only person out there who hid my symptoms out of embarrassment - in fact, my consultant said it's sadly common, particularly among younger patients. After my emergency surgery, I became determined not to be embarrassed by my body again. Because in reality, it's embarrassment and shame that made me so sick, not UC. If my blogging, my posting and my raising awareness can help just one other scared, shy person to go to their doctor about suspicious symptoms, then I'm happy.

Initially, I was also devastated at the prospect of an ostomy. It was something I'd never heard of, and was completely unprepared for. I can't put into words how anti-stoma I was at the time. I screamed in protest at several doctors and nurses who mentioned surgery to me. In my mind, although I'd been sick for a long time, I'd been living fairly normally, so the prospect of an ostomy both disgusted and terrified me. Yet in the past year and a half of having a stoma, I've done and achieved so much that I can safely say I'm extremely happy. I don't think about the bag a lot either - it's just a part of everyday life for me now. And having a stoma really taught me to love and appreciate my body, and not complain about 'wobbly bits' or rubbish like that. My 'wobbly bits' are healthy, so that's fine with me. I blog and talk to others to try and give confidence and hope to people who are also facing surgery with uncertainty. I want to show just how good life can be with a stoma. An ostomy isn't the end - it's the beginning.

And although I know deep down that had I been diagnosed earlier, I may not have needed a stoma, there's always the possibility that like others I might have waited months for a diagnosis. Even then, if I'd been diagnosed promptly, I'd be faced with a disease for life that cannot be cured. My consultant also said that my UC was one of the more vicious cases she'd seen - because most patients respond at least slightly to IV treatment, whereas my disease didn't even blink at it. In a way, it's almost a relief that the choice to have surgery was taken away from me. I didn't have to go through years of 'shall I, shan't I' that causes a lot of emotional turmoil for so many sufferers.

In short, there's lots of reasons I didn't go to the doctor with my symptoms. Embarrassment, shame, ignorance, denial and thinking it wasn't serious were all part of my thought process at that time. However, looking back, what happened taught me a great deal and from where I am today, I wouldn't want things to have turned out any differently.

3 1/2 weeks: Summer sun and lots to report!

The past few days have actually been really eventful! I'm finally past the crashing-on-sofa stage, and feeling more like my normal self (although there's still a little while to go before I'll be 100%). I've finished 2 weeks worth of iron tablets, so after another fortnight taking them my iron levels should be back to normal - which I imagine will help with the tiredness.

I've spent most of the week clearing out my room and throwing away lots of stuff - and giving the rest to charity. As I mainly live in London for uni now, I decided that I've got way too much stuff to my name. I can't possibly cart all this junk around with me! I've found so many things that I didn't even know I owned, and some things that I can't remember ever owning!

I also found a lot of spare ostomy supplies around my room - but unfortunately, a lot of them I can no longer use. This included bags with flat flanges (I now only use convex), and thick washer rings which just aren't suitable anymore. I'm considering sending them to OstomyAid, a charity that sends ostomy supplies out to third world countries where stoma patients often suffer real humiliation when they have few or no supplies. It's an issue that I really didn't think much about before I had my surgery, but on the one occasion last year when I actually ran out of bags (and had to make a last-minute dash to A&E and beg for more), I can't imagine what it must be like to know that you don't, and won't, have any supplies in the near future. They accept most unused ostomy products. Find out more about OstomyAid through their Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/OstomyAid

Yesterday, I got the bus into town to see a few friends. It was officially the hottest June day on record - phew! It hit 33 here in Nottingham. My mum in particular wasn't keen on me going - sort of understandable I guess, seen as it was so ridiculously hot and I get dehydrated pretty easily with a loop ileostomy. However, in the end we spent most of the day indoors in pubs drinking lots of (NON-alcoholic!) fluids as it turns out that 33 degrees is too hot, even for people with colons. The bus ride in was a little wobbly - the bus route goes along one particular road with a load of speed bumps, and at each one I felt my stomach jerk quite painfully - ouch! Fortunately, no damage was done and I got back home feeling really pleased with myself at my first time out of the house independently (without being given a lift).

Today, me and a couple of friends trekked up to a local hillside, where we had a lovely picnic in the sun. It's really beautiful here at the moment, and the view from the hill was just gorgeous! I only live 15 minutes from the hill, so decided to walk back through the fields to my house. This was pretty much the furthest I've walked since surgery, so I felt a little tired by the time I got back, but I thought it would do me some good to get a bit more active.

How gorgeous is this?

After what's been weeks of frustration and angst at my loop ileostomy, things are finally beginning to settle down. As I've posted before, the loop has been a lot different to the end, and it's been pretty tricky to master. I wasn't prepared for just how hard the transition would be. However, after weeks of using multiple bags a day, sore skin, leaks and the like, today I managed to keep a bag on for a whole 24 hours without issue, which believe me is one massive achievement at the moment! Using a combo of powder for the sore skin, a bit of paste, and tweaking the fit of my bag (with the help of my lovely nurse), seems to have done the trick, so fingers crossed it stays this way from now on.

I'm in a minimal amount of pain, only getting the odd twinge now and again, particularly in the keyhole incision that's nearer my groin (I guess this skin is bending more than the incision above my stoma bag). If I do get pain, it feels sort of like I've pulled a muscle - or occasionally it'll sting, because the incision is actually very close to where the edge of my ostomy bag sits, so if I bend at the wrong angle, the sharp edge of the flange digs into the cut. Ow. Fortunately all of my incisions (the two keyhole ones, the drain one, the stitches around the stoma) seem to have healed up - all the stitches around my stoma have dissolved and everything has either scabbed or healed over.

Below stoma bag                                                          Above stoma bag

Surgical drain

I'm still on clear bags - which aren't my preference, as I used to wear completely opaque bags with my end stoma. However, I'm not comfortable wearing opaque bags until all the problems with fitting/leaks are completely sorted out. My next order is still see through bags - an order that I've placed already, despite it only being two weeks since my last one! I'm hoping they'll understand that I've had a few issues and let me off!

I'm really happy to say that the 'wee' issue has also cleared up - the retention has gone without need for further investigation. I think that was a combo of bruising/surgery swelling, healing and not drinking enough. I was super relieved that it cleared up, and wasn't something more serious.

And on a final note, I've also had a letter from my surgeon inviting me back into clinic for a check up on August 7th. I was pretty excited to receive this, because although it's a general check up, it's also the time when we'll discuss the date of my third and final operation, the stoma reversal. It all just reminds me that the end of this long journey is finally in sight! I'm hoping to get the third op out of the way this year, potentially over Christmas. We'll see.

That's all for now :) As I get better and better, I'm sure there'll be lots more to report!