1 month today!

It's now exactly 1 month to the day of my second surgery that will eventually lead to my stoma reversal and J pouch. It's really flown by, and I've started to realise that this 'massive' summer holiday I've got from university is actually going more quickly than I expected! I still have slight pain in my lower incision (feels more like a strain/pulled muscle when I move a certain way), but other than that I'm getting back to health - my diet's also back to normal, and I'm eating everything except the most troublesome foods (corn, mushrooms, nuts etc - but they'll definitely be back on the menu soon!) I'm feeling pretty upbeat, and a lot more like my normal self. Here's what I consider to be my biggest achievements so far :)

- Learning to deal with a loop stoma and finally getting some confidence back to go out and about
- Having the confidence/energy to go for a picnic (far away from any toilets!)
- Getting out and about, particularly heading into town on my own

House party last week for my best mate's 20th!

Most of all, I'm proud that I'm finally overcoming the tiredness/anaemia/pain of surgery and getting my life back on track again. The above might not seem like massive 'achievements' - okay, so the picnic I had was walkable from my house, and town isn't miles away. But when you've had this sort of surgery, which can be such an upheaval in your life, I think it's important to consider even the smallest things as being 'achievements'. Anything you do that takes you out of your comfort zone, challenges you, however small, is something to be proud of. It's one step closer to getting better. And another middle finger up to your disease. Getting around and doing 'normal' things means you're kicking that illness into touch. And that's definitely something to be proud of!

Getting dressed up for the first time since op 

My loop stoma, as you might have read before, has caused me a lot of grief so far. It's finally stopped shrinking/changing shape since surgery and seems to be staying at a regular size, which is progress. It's still not perfect though - the stoma is so flat to the skin that no bag lasts longer than 24 hours, even with paste, powder and/or washers. The skin underneath the stoma is also still raw, because the stoma is so flush that I always get slight seepage even when I've done a really good job fitting it. After trying all the options, I've just accepted that this is how it's going to be until my reversal. It's only 6 months, and I can put up with that. It's not ideal and I don't like it, but there's no point getting down about it, because I've done the best I can and that will have to do! The discomfort of the raw skin is something I'm actually used to by now, and I'm starting to ignore.

I'm getting better at fitting the bags, too. However, there's still some days when I fit it perfectly, and other days when I mess it up. On those days I feel frustrated, but try to remember that it's all part and parcel of the learning process. In September, my healthcare company are apparently releasing a new brand of bag which fits better to your body, so fingers crossed that this will be a better future option.

In other news, I've got plenty of other things lined up for the months ahead. I'm hoping to start driving again, perhaps getting back to part time work. I'm potentially going out to town in the next few weeks (although alcohol completely flushes me out now - I tried one glass and it didn't go well - so that won't be on the menu). I'm clearing out last year's university house and moving into my new one at the end of July. And most of all, I'm looking forward to making the most of summer now I'm feeling a lot better!

Treat meal out with friends tonight - my diet's definitely not limited anymore!